Kayla Cullen isn't letting her injury-plagued career stop her determination to get back on the court and into the black dress.
On-going knee issues have consistently kept the 47-test defender out of action.
And now she's gearing up with for a comeback season with the Northern Stars after playing just a few pre-season games to see if she's physically and mentally strong enough to return.
"I was really nervous to play my first game and I just put so much pressure on myself and I was actually at the point where I was like almost in tears," she told Newshub.
Injury forced Cullen out of the Silver Ferns and last year's Commonwealth Games campaign.
However, Stars coach Kiri Wills believes her omission from the Gold Coast Games has allowed her a rare opportunity to get back to full strength.
"It's actually given her time to get it really sorted and so she's probably stronger than she's ever been [and] I think people forget she hasn't played an hour of ANZ Premiership for two years," she says.
The defender is only signed on with the Auckland-based franchise until the end of this season meaning her future in New Zealand could be limited with a possible move across the ditch to be with partner Shaun Johnson.
For that to happen, Cullen would need a Netball New Zealand dispensation to keep her Ferns dream alive.
"Yeah obviously if it came to it I'd be after that [but] I honestly haven't thought about it too much but yeah obviously with Shaun in Australia there's potential for me to move," she told Newshub.
The Northern Stars get their ANZ Premiership underway against the Southern Steel on February 24.
Which leaves plenty of time to earn her ticket to the World Cup in England in July.