Former Blackcap Heath Davis has shared his experience as a gay professional athlete, being Aotearoa's first international male cricketer to speak openly about his sexuality.
In a feature story with the Spinoff, 50-year-old Davis shed a light on the two worlds he juggled when he was selected for the Blackcaps in 1994.
At the time, Davis was known for his bleached blonde hair, gold chain and his inconsistent bowling that frustrated many.
But while on tour with the Blackcaps, Davis kept to himself - the Spinoff reports. While his teammates celebrated wins and would socialise together, Davis would head to different parts of town to fulfil his second life.
"It was lonely," Davis told the Spinoff.
Davis said he would go to saunas and "seedy places" to get sex because he didn't want to be seen.
The former Blackcap said he never felt unsafe within his profession about his sexuality, but never felt comfortable either.
"I was a bit afraid of just being out in Wellington. Being able to take my partner to the game," he continued.
"The way that I was thinking at that time, the two wouldn't have existed, I was either going to put one on hold or live one."
Now based in Brisbane, Davis added he now lives his life freely.
"I just wanted a normal life," he continued. "There was a part of me that needed to break free and I wanted a partner to love. That was really all."
Davis played five tests and 11 One Day Internationals during his time as an international cricketer, as well as 71 first class matches across stints with Wellington and Auckland.