Mayor of Hell impeached for banning heterosexuals

Hell Mayor
His first act as Mayor was to outlaw, via Twitter, a ban of heterosexuality and practicing heterosexuals from Hell. Photo credit: Twitter

A Mayor in the United States has been impeached three hours into his reign, after declaring heterosexuality illegal in Hell, Michigan. 

The small, unincorporated town's now-former chief official, Elijah Daniel, took official office on Thursday in the home of around 72 people that sits between Jackson, Michigan, and Detroit.

Mr Daniel told Huffington Post he was able to take office by handing over a small fee to the town's organisers.

"I was looking for a town willing to make me Mayor," he said. "They'll do it in Hell for $100 so I caught a red-eye to Michigan and got sworn in."

But the satirist and author of comedic fiction starring the character of Mr President Donald Trump found himself swiftly stripped of his newly-minted role - three hours, to be precise - after being inaugurated.

His first act as Mayor was to outlaw, via Twitter, heterosexuality and practicing heterosexuals from Hell - in what was a satirical and impossible-to-enact decree.

In a tweet, he wrote "As of today, August 30th, I am the legal mayor of Hell, Michigan. This is real. I am the Mayor of Hell."

The lengthy decree, which suggests that heterosexuals living in Hell would have to pay an "$84,000 precautionary procreation deposit" offers "heterosexual reparative therapy" and demands that all non-conforming heterosexuals wear a scarlet "H" and cargo shorts to daily, straight-shaming ceremonies.

Mr Daniel said his ban was a direct copy and paste of Mr Trump's Muslim ban, but switched instead with heterosexuals.

However, he was promptly ousted from office after the declaration was made, which he said "wasn't actually a problem".

"Everyone who becomes Mayor there gets impeached - most of the people who visit are same-sex couples who want to be married in Hell."

But his parting shot was aimed at Mr Trump, in a tweet to the President that read, "Being impeached was fun, you should try it."