Absent Trump roasted at White House Correspondents' Dinner

Donald Trump was conspicuously absent from the 2018 White House Correspondents Dinner, but that didn't mean he escaped being ridiculed.

For the second year in a row, the US President refused to attend the annual event - and Michelle Wolf, only the fifth woman ever to headline the dinner, showed no mercy.

"I would drag him here myself, but it turns out the President of the United States is the one pussy you're not allowed to grab."

The comedian skewered the former real estate tycoon over his long history of erratic behaviour as well as the bigotry against various groups he's been accused of harbouring.

"I could call Trump a racist, or a misogynist, or xenophobic, or unstable, or incompetent, or impotent - but he's heard all of those and he doesn't care."

Just about everyone involved with the Trump administration was in her sights, including the President's daughter Ivanka.

"She's about as helpful to women as an empty box of tampons," she said. "She's done nothing to satisfy women, so I guess like father, like daughter."

Wolf said she did write jokes about Cabinet members, "but I had to scrap all of those because everyone has been fired".

The humiliation was worst for the few on Trump's team who braved the dinner, including the President's Counselor.

"If a tree falls in the woods, how do we get Kellyanne Conway under that tree?" Wolf asked, to a death stare from the aforementioned Conway.

Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders looked even less impressed, as she endured a ruthless attack on everything from her makeup to her tenuous relationship with the truth.

"I love you as Aunt Lydia in The Handmaid's Tale," she began. "Mike Pence, if you haven't seen it, you would love it."

"I'm never really sure what to call Sarah Huckabee Sanders," she went on. "Is it Sarah Sanders, is it Sarah Huckabee Sanders, is it Cousin Huckabee, is it Aunt Huckabee Sanders?

"What's Uncle Tom but for white women who disappoint other white women? I know - Aunt Coulter," she finished - a cutting reference to conservative commentator Ann Coulter.

"Every time Sarah steps up to the podium, I get excited," Wolf continued. "I'm not really sure what we're going to get - press briefing, a bunch of lies or divided into softball teams."

She went on to say that she actually likes Ms Huckabee Sanders and praised her "resourcefulness".

"She burns facts and then she uses that ash to create a perfect smokey eye. Like maybe she's born with it, maybe it's lies. It's probably lies."

Wolf even had a crack at the media over its obsession with the President.

"You helped create this monster and now you're profiting off of him," she told the audience. "And if you're going to profit off of Trump you should at least give him some money, because he doesn't have any."

With zingers like that, don't put any hard-earned cash on Mr Trump attending next year either.