The daughter of Donald Trump's personal lawyer Rudy Giuliani has penned a scathing letter to "Trumpworld" with tips on how to accept defeat.
Caroline Giuliani, a filmmaker in the LGBTQ+ community, has been outspoken in her opposition to her father's political interests in the lead up to the 2020 election, urging Americans to vote for Joe Biden.
The Democrat has secured 306 electoral votes and will take the White House in January unless Trump can prove his claims of widespread voter fraud.
Trump put Giuliani, who has remained loyal to the Trump campaign, in charge of the lawsuits. Despite multiple setbacks he has continued to post on Twitter that there were still "multiple pathways to victory".
On Tuesday Caroline published a searing essay in Vanity Fair with self-care tips for "Trumpworld" for "accepting the reality that Trump lost".
In one part she encourages them to practice a new skill.
"Knitting, Reiki, capoeira, even building imaginary walls - there are so many enriching possibilities. (Please note that whining, lying, and grabbing women by the pussy are not skills.)"
Other tips include communing with nature "until you lose cell service and Twitter will no longer refresh", breathe ("I recommend inhaling for two months - the length of time that Donald Trump once suggested the coronavirus would last"), and taking stock of failures.
"Only sociopathic narcissists have delusions of grandeur, blaming others for their failings, often with tragic consequences. And you're not a sociopathic narcissist, right?"
Caroline also takes a dig at the now infamous Four Seasons press conference, which her father was speaking at.
The update, which was billed as a major press event, was supposed to take place at Philadelphia's Four Seasons Hotel but a mix-up meant it happened in the parking lot of Four Seasons Total Landscaping.
The family landscaping business was located on the outskirts of the city, between a crematorium and an adult book store.
"For outdoor architectural projects, I recommend Four Seasons Total Landscaping. (Get a jump on your holiday shopping at the literary establishment next door)," she wrote.
"Sexual self-care is critical if you don't want to end up in the crematorium across the street. This is not a sponsored ad. But it could be! Call me, Fantasy Island."
Caroline also took note of another press conference where Giuliani was widely ridiculed for appearing to sweat out hair dye.
"Avoid charcoal products or anything with artificial dyes, which may result in your face oozing as you make false claims of voter fraud in Philadelphia, for example," she said.
She also encourages "Trumpworld" to adopt a stray animal, stop speaking during a silent retreat, and bake.
"We've heard a lot about sourdough starters, but there are a million other recipes to learn once you accept that numbers are the basis of all measurement systems. If you start toggling the ratio of yeast to salt because yeast got more votes and you're a salty sore loser, your oven will explode."
