Internet split after mum questions how many times a week other couples are having sex

couple in bed together
Are you an everyday or once-a-year type of couple? Photo credit: Getty.

A UK mum's innocuous question on the internet has revealed just how different every couple's sex life is, despite many worrying others are doing it more than them. 

The anonymous woman, who said she's been in a relationship "for years", turned to other women for advice after revealing her other half has a higher sex drive than her.

"[My partner] wants sex daily and would love it to be multiple times a day, whereas I'm happy with twice a week or every other day at most," she wrote on British parenting forum Mumsnet. 

"If a day or two has gone by and we haven't done it I can tell he's becoming frustrated, which makes me feel inadequate for not wanting it more.

"The obvious answer would be that he 'helps himself' on those occasions, which I'm sure that he does - but that doesn't mean he won't still want sex.

"What is your normal?" 

The question racked up over 300 answers online, with answers varying ranging from every day to once or twice a year. 

One woman who has been married 25 years revealed her quite mathematical system. 

"Three times every fortnight on average. So once one week would usually be followed by twice the next week," she wrote. "I never really thought about how often until your post. This has been consistent for years."

More commonly, couples specified around two times per week.

"Once or twice a week. My boyfriend would happily have sex every day but I'm happy every three days at the absolute most!" wrote one woman. 

"It's best to leave it a few days between shags to let the desire build up a bit," joked another. 

But others revealed they can go long periods without sex

"God no! Every day?! I really couldn't be bothered with that. Actually we can go months sometimes."

"Married 24 years and probably around three times a month. More on holiday!"

While no answer was the same, it truly showed that when it comes to sex, there is no "normal" number. 

That's the sentiment echoed by sex expert Tracey Cox, who told the Daily Mail in 2016 that having sex every day doesn't necessarily make a couple happier or closer. Typically, most couples will only find the time to have sex once a week, said Cox. 

"No one can really look in on your relationship and come up with the ideal amount of sex for you," she said.

"Individual circumstances make a mockery or any statistic.

"Your fitness levels, the state of your relationship, your natural resting libidos (the amount you're motivated to have sex), medication, stress levels, commitments to ageing mothers, traumatised friends, career pressure, depression, menopause, erection difficulties, feeling unwell, too drunk, too angry, too tired - we're human beings, not machines and all these factors affect desire.

"The only question you really need to answer is this: are you both happy with the amount of sex you're having? If the answer is yes, you're doing just fine."