Unlike other trying, emotionally taxing situations in life, like building flatpack furniture, breakups don't come with an instruction manual to help you rebuild after everything falls to pieces.
Navigating a 'new normal' after the life you knew has come to a crashing halt can feel like the end of the world, but just know that you're in good company: there's a reason why so many hit songs are about heartbreak. Plus, new research from Trade Me has revealed nearly half the population aged 20 to 40 has had a breakup in the past three years - it's all part of the human experience.
While they say time heals all wounds, sometimes you can't help but wish there was a definitive guide to handling heartbreak, a kit containing all the essentials to embracing singlehood (a Satisfyer Pro and Bridget Jones' Diary obviously being among them).
To help newly minted singletons come to terms with 'I' instead of 'we', former The Bachelor New Zealand star Lily McManus has launched a range of 'Break-Up Starter Packs' to encourage giving an ex the elbow and embracing the new.
McManus, who placed second on season three of The Bachelor in 2017, said she wants to share her tried-and-trusted techniques to getting out of the post-split slump and becoming your best single self.
"Apparently nearly half the country has gone through a breakup in the past three years. I don't know who hurt you guys but I've got you," she said in a statement.
"I reckon the best way to get over someone is to get under something new. I've put together four Break Up Starter Packs that literally have everything you need to say goodbye to the dreaded ex and look toward a happy, and healthy future."
There are four Break-Up Starter Packs to choose from, each themed around a different post-breakup ritual - you know, like the single-woman-decides-to-change-her-life montages often seen in rom-coms. Each pack contains several on-theme goodies intended to help your single self blossom.
The new research commissioned by Trade Me found that with 42 percent of 20-to-40-year-olds suffering a split in the last three years, many went on to embrace an 'out with the old, in with the new' mindset by revamping their home. Fifty-three percent were prompted to buy new tech, 50 percent were sparked to splash out on new homeware and 48 percent went on to fit out their home with fresh furniture. You know, making sure no single cell of DNA is left behind.
According to clinical psychologist Dr Dougal Sutherland, many people are fuelled to drastically switch up their lifestyle in the wake of a split to put some distance between that old, outdated version or themselves, or perhaps to regain a sense of control when everything else feels like it's crumbling around them.
"Breakups are a life-altering situation. Experiencing the loss of a relationship can bring feelings of uncertainty and stress as we experience change. However, this can also be an exciting time for personal transformation and provide us with an opportunity to focus on ourselves and try new things," he said in a statement.
"More people are taking a breakup as an opportunity to embrace change and work on a new version of themselves. It's important that you make changes to your home environment that reflect the new you. It will feel like a fresh start once you've cleared or replaced the baggage that filled each room."
The research also found that 70 percent of Kiwi singletons moved on by working out and eating healthier as a post-breakup coping mechanism, while almost one in two (45 percent) embraced newfound singledom by focusing on self-pleasure and sex positivity.
"Controversial take but these stats make me happy," said McManus. "It just goes to show that sometimes breakups are for the better. Have that day on the couch surrounded by snacks without judgement or spend more time focusing on your own pleasure. I'm 100 percent here for a self-love era."
Each of the Break-Up Starter Packs are filled with new products available on the Trade Me platform, spanning these four options:
- It'll Work Out: A starter pack to help you feel good from the inside out, one rep at a time, with home-gym equipment and #Fitspo like a FitBit and dumbbells.
- Max Relax: A starter pack with everything you need to enjoy your own company, whether that's a cosy pair of Crocs or a brand-new gaming headset.
- Good Vibes Only: This pack embraces sex positivity and takes an R18 approach with naughty treats to bring you all the good vibrations.
- Moving On: This option features brand-new furniture and homewares, like a Samsung Smart TV and crispy, fresh linens to help you build an even better nest.
Trade Me's limited-edition Break-Up Starter Packs are each valued at approximately $1500 and will be available to bid on from Tuesday, May 30. The packs are available only on Trade Me.