Dad sparks debate by refusing to name unborn daughter after wife's mother

Couple looking angrily at each other in bed
"You're naming a human, not a chihuahua." Photo credit: Getty Images

A father-to-be has sparked a debate online after revealing he and his pregnant wife clashed over the name of their unborn child, a disagreement that left his wife in tears. 

Taking to the subreddit 'Am I the Asshole' - a forum where users can anonymously seek advice on their most pressing moral conundrums - the man, 32, explained that his wife desperately wants to name their daughter after her mother. 

Initially the man agreed, thinking she wanted to pay tribute to her mother by using her forename, Ana. However, it quickly transpired that his wife actually had a penchant for her middle name - Princess.

Detailing the disagreement on 'Am I the Asshole', the man questioned if he was indeed the asshole for refusing to use his mother-in-law's middle name, fearing their daughter would be bullied at school. 

He began by noting that the couple discovered they were expecting in January, and started brainstorming names after they found out the sex at a recent ultrasound appointment.

"A few nights ago my wife and I began to talk about possible baby names. She mentioned her mother, Ana, and asked me how I would feel if our daughter inherited her name," he wrote to the forum earlier this week.

"I told her that I loved that idea, not only because Ana is a pretty name, but because my wife is Puerto Rican and I know how important it would be to her family if we carried on her mothers name since it has been in the family for ages.

"I figured that the conversation was over after I agreed, but just last night at dinner my wife brought it up again. 

"She said that she thinks it's so meaningful that I am letting our daughter have 'her grandmother's middle name'. When she said this I was shocked. I had assumed my wife was talking about her mother's first name, not her middle name. This might not have been a huge deal, but my mother in law's middle name is - wait for it - Princess."

The man claimed he immediately shut down the idea, pointing out that by calling their daughter Princess they would possibly be opening her up to bullying at school, with kids likely to make fun of her unique moniker. 

However, he said his wife was adamant that Princess was the perfect fit for their unborn child, and when he continued to refuse, she became distraught. 

"I told my wife that I am sorry, but I don't want our daughter to be named Princess. Upon hearing this she burst into tears, calling me 'a disgrace to her family' and 'an awful father' for 'excluding our kid'.

"I told her that she was acting crazy, and that I would be fine with the name Ana but Princess is not a name I am comfortable giving our newborn."

He added that his wife has been avoiding him since the argument, leading him to question his resolve on the matter. 

"I don't want our kid to be bullied, but family is so important to me and my wife."

But the Reddit community quickly came to his defence, urging him to stick to his guns and protect his daughter from the likelihood of teasing and torment. 

"This is the hill to die on. The kid will be teased to death," one said, with a second adding: "You're the child's parent too, you also have a say. Your wife isn't thinking of the child, that's for sure. It's a stupid name and you have the right to veto it."

"People forget that kids grow up, can you imagine an adult working in a potentially corporate environment with that name? Kids aren't dolls or pets," a third weighed in, while a fourth declared: "You're naming a human, not a chihuahua."

"Unless you want your child isolated and bullied, stand your ground," another urged. 

Another suggested giving his wife time to cool off and think more rationally about the matter before returning to the conversation.

Last month, a British mum-of-two spoke out about the range of reactions she receives upon revealing her three-year-old son's "love it or hate it" forename, claiming she is regularly "trolled by pensioners". 

Speaking to The Sun, Chesney Leigh Wright, 26, admitted people often "lose the plot" when they first hear the "bonkers" moniker she picked for her second child: Boye.