Married woman's separate bank account gets mixed feedback from internet

They've been married seven years and keep money separate, with one joint credit card paying for shared expenses.
They've been married seven years and keep money separate, with one joint credit card paying for shared expenses. Photo credit: Getty Images.

A woman's pledge to keep her money separate from her husband even with a baby on the way, is receiving mixed feedback from internet users.

In a post trending on Buzzfeed, contributor Evie Carrick says not sharing money with her husband of seven years has saved their relationship. 

While dating, they had separate accounts. And just because they've signed a marriage certificate, it didn't make sense to combine them.

"I knew pooling your money and calling it even was the norm, but it felt complicated - and  uneven," Carrick said.

Calling herself a "saver and a penny-pincher" while her husband's motto is "life's short", Carrick says like many couples, they started their relationship with uneven amounts of money and incomes. 

As money isn't a factor in their relationship, it "probably cuts our fighting in half", she says.  And treating each other with "little gestures of love" keeps their romance alive.

"When he bought yet another snowboard (I think that brings his total to eight), I didn't say a word," Carrick said 

"And he extended me the same regard when I splurged on a pair of $180 silk pajamas (they weren't worth it, BTW)." 

It also means they can shout each other the occasional treat, making the other feel special.  

"It meant a lot when he bought me a new cross-country ski setup for my birthday...when I take him out to dinner or pay for the hotel, it means something," Carrick said. 

Each has their own accounts and credit cards and they have one joint credit card. Referred to as the "team card", it's used to pay for everything involving both of them: petrol, travel, groceries and takeaways. Along with rent, large joint purchases such as cars, furniture and trips, are split between them.

"Each month, I pay off the team card in full and send him a Venmo request, for his half, Carrick said.

Although she loves her husband "til death do us part", she realises that "life happens".  And dealing with life's uncertainties is easier when there's a bank account "full of money that's all yours". 

"I've heard one too many horror stories of women who totally give themselves (financially and otherwise) to their partner only to get dropped later on," Carrick said.

They've made a pact to pay off their credit cards each month. When it comes time to buy a house, they've discussed splitting the deposit.  

Although their approach to money might sound "heartless", she insists they have each other's backs. When her husband couldn't afford to pay his credit card, she transferred the money to him (he paid her back when he could).  

With a baby on the way, things are about to change. Carrick's plan is to continue as they are, with "a few modifications". The "team card" will get more use.  As freelancers, they've put money away so they can reduce their workloads and split parenting duties.  

Her story has drawn mixed reactions from the internet, with people divided on whether keeping money separate is practical in the long run. 

"I see how this can work, but if you're planning on saving for a house or a child or retirement, you do need to know how much they are putting away for those things. Having a joint bank account just to save for a house might be a good idea," fungicake74 said.

"Curious as to how couples on opposite ends of money views and separate accounts work out when it gets close to retirement. If it works for them now then that's great but I can't imagine being on a different page than my spouse when it comes to financial goals and saving for the future," memmermaid said.

"The only thing I have an issue with here is if one person has no clue as to the other's finances, you can suddenly get hit with a massive amount of debt your partner never disclosed to you," shuckmycorn said.

"This is lovely but hit me up when it's been over 20 years and the kid is headed to college. Their little joint equal account will be blown to smithereens. Kids are expensive and unpredictable," emilyjoon said.

Accountant and money mentalist Lynda Moore said although more couples are choosing to keep money separate, they also need to consider how they'll work together. One option is to have a joint account where incomes go in and all bills are paid from, and separate accounts for 'play money'.

"You can be a lot more powerful in relationships if you merge money and start working towards joint goals," Moore said.