Opinion: Worst New Zealand places the rowdy tourists should have visited

OPINION: The rowdy UK tourists' campaign of abuse and harassment across New Zealand has been cut short after the group was served a deportation notice.

It came as a shock to the group of undesirables, who claimed they came to New Zealand to see "the Hobbits".

But while they failed to make it to Hobbiton, here are five places the rowdy tourists would've perhaps felt more comfortable:

Huntly

The Huntly Power Station in all its glory.
The Huntly Power Station in all its glory. Photo credit: Newshub

Like the tourists, Huntly most makes the news for its criminal behaviour.

"The Waikato River passes through Huntly as fast as it can, and so should you," Facebook page Shit Towns of New Zealand (SToNZ) writes.

"Popular Huntly pastimes include lobbing rocks at passing cars, trading illicit substances in public toilets, and robbing each other's houses even though they have nothing worth stealing. Huntly: Lock your doors and don't slow down."

Relationships between residents and police occasionally erupt in violence. One notorious party ended with the crowd of more than 60 people assaulting police, throwing rocks and bricks through police car windows.

In another incident, police responded to reports that a group of about 30 people were fighting in a street. When officers attended, they had bottles thrown at them and were fired at with paintball guns.

Apart from the crime, Huntly is famous for its coal-fired power station, which regularly enrages environmentalists.

Waiheke Island

Flooding at the Waiheke Island ferry terminal
Flooding at the Waiheke Island ferry terminal Photo credit: Supplied

Or they could have visited Waiheke Island, once described by former Newshub reporter David Farrier as a water-ringed prison colony for Auckland's most annoying people.

He despises Waihekeans for three primary reasons: "the snobbery, the arrogance, the property disputes".

His disgust for the island intensified as people began documenting their drunken endeavours via Instagram.

"I began to notice the sorts of people who went there on the weekend: Piling onto the ferry, getting shitfaced, taking lots of wine-drinking selfies, then later spewing up and hitting the ferry back to the mainland.

Waiheke's only redeeming quality is its birdlife, Farrier says, and even that comes with a caveat.

"The way I see it, the birds of Waiheke have wings, so they are not really a part of the place - they are merely stopping by," he theorises.

"Probably to take a shit."

A filthy Auckland beach

 

A sanitary pad washes up on an Auckland beach.
A sanitary pad washes up on an Auckland beach. Photo credit: Karen Withers

Instead of defiling Auckland's Takapuna Beach, they could have swum in one of Auckland's festering beaches.

Multiple beaches are continually failing water quality standards. The main risk is from "faecal contamination", often caused by problems with the wastewater system.

When contaminated by human or animal faeces, the water can contain disease-causing bacteria, viruses and protozoa (such as salmonella, campylobacter or giardia).

These can cause illnesses including gastroenteritis, respiratory illness, ear and eye infections and skin infections.

Current beaches to avoid include Huia Beach, St Mary's Bay, and Herne Bay.

One of New Zealand's 'worst towns' to live

 

The Hawera Mt View Lions Club's float.
The Hawera Mt View Lions Club's float. Photo credit: Debbie Ngarewa-Packer / Facebook

Or they could have visited one of New Zealand's 'worst towns' - like Tokoroa or Hawera.

Researchers from the Motu Economic and Public Policy Research say the South Taranaki towns of Hawera and Eltham, along with the Southland town of Winton and the Waikato town of Tokoroa, are the worst places in New Zealand to live and work.

Tokoroa is described by SToNZ as "loathed by nature, economic forces and mankind alike".

"Its median annual income is $17,000, nearly one in four Tokoroans is unemployed, and barely half of the population over 15 possess formal qualifications.

"Until the 1930s its soil made livestock sick, while its lake has long been unsafe for swimming, pending intensive de-weeding efforts (which, incidentally, are also regularly carried out by police in many of the town's houses)," SToNZ says.

Meanwhile, Hawera recently made the news after a blackface float was awarded second place at an A&P parade.

The Beehive

 

The Beehive has been engulfed by recent scandals.
The Beehive has been engulfed by recent scandals. Photo credit: Getty

But they might fit in at the Beehive. New Zealand's epicentre of taxpayer waste and corruption, the Beehive is home to backstabbing, betrayal and bullying.

A recent report found the government had used private spies to snoop on Christchurch earthquake claimants, while MBIE has been training its staff to create multiple fake identities online to "harvest information".

And Speaker of the House Trevor Mallard has announced an independent external review into bullying and harassment of staff.

The AM Show host Duncan Garner expects it will reveal bullying, harassment, intimidation and unwanted sex.

"I expect this review to highlight the total power imbalance between the worker and the MP, the drinking, the relationships, the Wellington wife, the sex, wanted and unwanted, the daily humiliation of the weak and of the wrong," Garner said.

"It's a place where good people go to die and the survivors must become feral to win."

Scott Palmer is a Digital News Producer at Newshub.

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