Tim Sharky Ward is a famous hot mess. Which even he himself admits, "I'm screwed up, you got no idea. But I don't care."
Well, we have a little bit of an idea. His mother tried to abort him twice before he was born, leaving him with his alcoholic grandmother who "beat the shit" out of him.
The tattooed, Taranaki born, Gold Coast made bogan is a high profile tangle of contradictions. He is an insta-famous ex-loan shark/night club owner/pimp who now lives in Pattaya, Thailand where he feeds street dogs.
He regularly boasts about his sexual exploits online and was once accused of stabbing an expatriate. After walking free, he wrote on social media: "You guys know how it is in Thailand. You can kill someone - but if you pull enough out of your pocket, you will eventually walk free."
Now, he says, he doesn't drink, do drugs, and still feels like a street kid.
He roams the streets wearing only stubbies and a satchel where he keeps his dog food. Ward claims he's retired now, and fills his days with renting his apartment and at least three hours of feeding stray dogs. And keeping his 57,000 Instagram followers informed of his adventures.
And, as you can imagine, he's brutally honest to interview as well. "You're 22, your body's still pretty attractive. But wait until you pop out a few babies, your tits start sagging and your stomach looks like it's been run over by a tractor."
Then, he argues, is when my husband or boyfriend will go and use prostitutes. He says he hates those guys. He meets a lot in Pattaya. "I could not lie beside you and fall asleep if I was cheating on you - but they do it! That's why I don't have a girlfriend, I'd cheat on you. I'm hopeless. I wouldn't put you through that."
He says he doesn't care what people think because he doesn't like humans. "I have 'people equal shit' tattooed on my head. I don't have a lot to do with people because I don't trust them…I don't like humanity. What's to like?"
How did this millionaire nightclub owner, synonymous with hot women and Lamborghinis, end up a rejected misanthrope? And how is he the same man who helps vulnerable animals and children?
It comes back to his upbringing in Taranaki. He was raised by his alcoholic Grandma. He says the only food in the house was jelly crystals. "And lemons, because we had a lemon tree in the garden." He was in and out of youth courts, but went straight at 18 because he knew the penalties were getting serious. But he still feels like a forgotten street kid. "I'm a reject from society, and it all goes back to being a kid."
It explains why he hates humanity so much. "I used to tell people, don’t take my money, I'm a c**t. I'll make your life hell. But they did." When it came to getting his money back as a loan shark he had no qualms following up with his clients about it. "I had no remorse, I had no feelings. If you didn't pay my money I'd come looking for you…"
But he says in his mind he wasn't hurting people and he wasn't doing anything illegal. "I wasn't selling drugs to kids, I wasn't hurting anyone."
And here comes the contradiction, for a man who doesn't care about the world he says he won't sell drugs. He won't even do drugs. "I've never sold a joint in my life, never sold one, never touched one….I don't do stupid things like that."
Firstly, he says, it's because he just doesn't want to go to prison. But secondly because when he was about nine years old, his childhood friend Joe drank boiled datura flowers. "He went mental…ended up in a loony bin…that was me forever with drugs."
It's counter intuitive, but what's even more surprising is he says he hates alcohol and nightclubs - despite being a nightclub owner. His conscience eventually ground him down until he quit the business. "Nightclubs destroy people…" he argues, they lead you to drugs.
Which does he think is more ethical: loan sharking or nightclub owning? Loan sharking. By far.
It's these unexpected flashes of conscience which tie into his charity work. He says he spends three hours a day feeding street dogs. Is it possible this hard bitten man has a soft side? Maybe.
"I was a vulnerable child. And I hate seeing anything vulnerable because it reminds me of that." He stops. "I was hanging around the YMCA in New Plymouth one time and this older guy…he gave me 50 cents. I remembered that my whole life. I remember what it's like to be helped."
Sceptics say his charity work helping dogs is a cover up, but he says he genuinely wants to help vulnerable animals.
"Cover up for what?! I've got nothing to hide."