Verity Johnson: Donald Trump is the Ultimate Office D*ckhead

Donald Trump
Donald Trump Photo credit: Getty

The Office Dickhead, or TOD for short, is someone you will probably be familiar with.

You'll know him from CNN for instance, where the ultimate TOD is currently masquerading as President of the United States.

Or you'll know him from your office, where he's easy to spot in his natural habitat. You'll probably already know him. If you're female, he will make comments to you frequently on your appearance. They probably won't be anything super awful. No comments that require him to be blu tack-ed to the desk and bound with sticky tape while we call in HR. (Although there may be exceptions. Eg. Grab Her By the Pussy!)

It'll be daily comments about how nice you look today, or how he preferred your hair down, or how that colour isn't too pretty on you. Little things. TOD largely knows how to never officially cross 'The Line' because it's just banter! Hilarious.

If you're male, you'll probably vaguely think he's a bit...off. You may have heard him make an occasional weird comment. But he's nice to you….He's like a cup of instant coffee - it can’t be that bad right? (Yeah, yeah he can. If you think he's off, you're bang on.)

Trump's recent comments towards Irish reporter Caitriona Perry and 'Morning Joe' reporter Mika Brzezinski are shining examples of his TOD tendencies.

He called Perry over to compliment her smile, which she laughed off with the familiar forced giggle that we learn from puberty. With Brzezinski, he made disgusting comments about her supposed plastic surgery, and threw in a jab at her IQ to boot. Banter!

A lot of people are saying that Trump's comments aren't a big deal. TOD's comments are never 'a big deal, unless it’s a comment about a certain TOD's tiny hands. Then it's a matter of EXTREME NATIONAL DICK SWINGING IMPORTANCE.

But the comments to women in isolation are never 'a big deal.' If a co-worker told you once in your life that you have a nice smile, you probably won't think much of it. It might even cheer you up a little, after all, you've got a crushing amount of photocopying to do.

But it is never in isolation. TOD makes these comments all the time. And it's the repetition of comments on your appearance that makes you feel self conscious, awkward, and then on edge.

Even if they're 'compliments'. Eg. TOD says that you look great with your hair down, so now you’re thinking, "does it look bad up???" And you're also thinking, "why are you even commenting on this?!" And then, "I'm just going to go out of my way to avoid you. It's upsetting and frankly I have things I need to do. I have emails, coffee dates, and IT people to swear at."

When Trump makes a comment like Perry having a nice smile, a lot of people say it's not a big deal, calm down, sit down and have a biscuit….Women are blamed for being overly emotional and sensitive. It's banter! (Again, #hilarious.)

But the thing is that we're not being overly emotional. Trump complementing Perry's smile, or that one guy in the office complimenting your smile, hits the sore spot left by years and years of these comments. Comments that came from everyone from your boss, to your Dad's friends, to the Leader of the Land of the Free. And we're sick of it. So yes, we get angry. Or we snap at you. Or we just put twink in your coffee.

So we're not being sensitive, TOD. And it is a big deal. You try have someone making comments on your dick size for 20 years.  

Verity Johnson is a Newshub columnist. 

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