Flanker Jerome Kaino is back in the All Blacks fold and eager to put behind him what he admits was the toughest period of his professional career.
The two-time World Cup champion hasn't played a Test match since the Lions series, after being forced to leave New Zealand's Bledisloe Cup camp in Sydney to deal with some well-documented personal issues.
Speaking publically for the first time since that incident, the 34-year-old confesses the past few months may have been especially demanding, but he's looking to shake those off when he takes the field against the Barbarians on Sunday (NZT).
"It has been tough, but I've been able to deal with that away from the team," Kaino confesses.
"The coaches, the All Blacks and the rugby union have been great. It's going to take a lot of time, but I've been able to use rugby as an escape to be able to focus on something else, when I'm away from that.
"There have been a lot of lessons. I'm still working through a lot of things and for me right now, it's focusing on footy and hopefully I can take my opportunity that might hopefully come this weekend."
After missing the entire Rugby Championship, Kaino has since been superseded by both Liam Squire and Vaea Fifita for the No 6 jersey, which has only served to motivate him further.
"It has been special watching the next crop of guys take their opportunities. Vaea and Liam have been playing awesome, but it's driven me to work harder to take the chances that might come in the future."
Attempting to work his way back to form with Auckland during the recently-concluded provincial championship, the 84-Test veteran believes he still has plenty to offer the black jersey.
"I still feel like I've got a lot of footy left in me and I'm still driven to work hard every day to fight for a position.
"But if I'm not involved, which I haven't been for the last five weeks, I've managed to refocus my energy and time into making sure the guys who do run out are fully prepared."
Having scored a try in his Test debut against the Barbarians back in 2004, the prospect of replicating that feat this weekend provides a novel opportunity to go full circle, a symbolic wiping clean of the slate.
"The possibility of being involved this weekend is extra special - It's where it all started.
"A lot of things happened so quickly and to be rushed into the tour was so crazy, then just learning so much and getting the opportunity to put on the black jersey was special."
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